Rejecting Superwoman – No, I don’t want to do it all

In a day and age when we can do anything and everything we are encouraged to.

We are encouraged to have the education, get a great job, become a mum, go to all the soccer practices, don’t miss a moment in person, captured on video, study some more, stay fit, get out and travel.

We go out and fight for equality, make a stand for what is right in an effort to hold the world together as the caring culture falls apart at the seams, then we come home only to continue leading, holding our selves to account to have a home of care and encouragement as this is the right thing to do and so it must go on our list of required, behaviours and leadership traits in every waking moment.

Oh, and did you fit in there the spiritual retreat, and hire your PT to ensure you remain your best throughout all this and continue chasing your dreams in your spare time.

Well, I think all that noise can piss off – I don’t want it.

Now, I am not saying we shouldn’t make a stand or do or not do any of these examples.

 

But what needs to be said is that trying to do all this is exhausting, wearing us down and stunting our joy.

 

 

The joy that comes from the freedom to explore and chase curiosities – or even have nothing to chase.

The joy from an unplanned day.

The joy in spaces of time and place.

The joy from not having a to-do list that you didn’t get all ticked off so you don’t have the guilt of not getting it all done despite what you did get done.

Sure, I can do it all, but I don’t want to.

 

I want the downtime created by handing over the reigns and maybe not having the most nutritious meal.

I just want to have a Saturday with nothing on so I can fill it with sleeping in, eating breakfast slowly then sip my coffee in the morning sun – with absolutely no pressure.

I want the space in my life to be able to uncoil from all the stress, expectations and demands of the world, and the ones I put on myself.

I don’t want to do it all.

I want to do a couple great things but that is more than enough because I also want space to play and time to ponder.

I acknowledge that my growth, my life and the best future for me will come when I allow it the space to, rather than demand it to with tasks and lists.

 

It is great to know I can do whatever I want – but I don’t want to do it all.

 

I think Superwoman is a great role model for all we can do – but she is better left on the screen for I acknowledge only superhuman powers will enable you to do it all and not break.

And so, with the summer ahead I clear my obligations. I release the reigns and I am sinking into the backseat of life for a while, enjoying the view out the window and letting the warm breeze flow through my hair.

 

Life IS About Feeling Unsure, Uncertain and Afraid

Let’s embrace the reality.

We are unsure.

We are afraid.

Most of us don’t have a single defining purpose, and that is what is real and true.

I am asked what I want to be still at 34 years of age like each change is supposed to be heading my ‘life/career/hobbies’ in a specific direction.

For me, life does have other plans and rather than get frustrated when my initial direction takes a turn I have learnt more wisely to enjoy the ride. These unexpected turns have led to some of life’s biggest joys and breakthroughs.

The breakdown of a dream is hard, stagnation sucks and mistakes are embarrassing, but they are also a part of life.

The life flow I have learnt to be ok with has included years of feeling lost, sometimes career wise, sometimes personally, sometimes in every single area of life. There have been times where I feel like I have gone backwards and some, where I have felt held down.

It is extremely hard when you’re left without an answer or direction.

Whilst it is hard, I now practice surrender. I am learning to ride the wave of it without letting nausea take over, knowing the feeling of being a lost ship does result in turning up on a beach somewhere but that never feels soon enough in the storm.

There is a lot of noise about pushing yourself to be, to do, to define it all and I am over that noise. Turn it off!

I wrote about how sometimes no answer is THE answer, read about it here.

I have learnt that being held down is still leading me somewhere – time will go on and the sun will rise again. The last lull forced me to come back in and find a pause. To be okay with the stillness and uncertainty in direction. And oddly enough only when I found a settled space in myself and surrendered to being there did the new direction appear – it was a

The last lull forced me to come back in and find a pause. To be okay with the stillness and uncertainty in direction. And oddly enough only when I found a settled space in myself and surrendered to being there did the new direction appear – this most recent voyage spanned two long 2 years.

Let’s more wisely recognise that life is all about cycles. Sometimes we will be uncertain, sometimes we will fall, get stuck and not know what it is all about or for.

And that is so very okay.

 

 

 

Photo by Daria Nepriakhina on Unsplash

Minimal Living Beyond Possessions

 

I didn’t just want less stuff.

In fact at my core, embarking on minimalism was about ‘things’ the least.

I had just come out of a very rough patch in life, my heart was broken and my so called life-direction had blown away in the hurricane that followed. I hadn’t been truly in touch with who I was for a good decade and as a result I had no idea what I, as just ‘me’, now wanted out of life.

When I moved on with only essentials I was unconsciously peeling back the layers of the life that had just been dismantled in an effort to try to find ‘me’.

‘Me’  wasn’t something I could tap into easily, or in any short timeframe.  I realised I had to allow the process that time gifts, reveal more of me, one piece at a time.

In the moments of change that left my legs collapsed beneath me, down there on the ground I began to uncover the girl I was once; independent, creative and full of wonder. My joy in being, my excitement for the world and all its people had been tossed aside over the years which I realised was one of my most fulfilling expressions.

The weight that lifted from freeing myself from commitments and possessions provided the opportunity to start exploring how to live the life I had only dreamed of.

The most amazing discovery was that it was only a little bit of readjusting away.

 

We get caught up in what a dream life is. We think it is shooting for the stars and dismiss going for it, when in fact, if we sit down and map it out, it is often just a few short tweeks away.

 

Living intentionally cost me what I thought was hard to give up, but in fact I learnt I was yearning to give up the mindless shop wandering, an overflowing, complicated wardrobe, confusion in self-fulfilment, a bad diet, an unhealthy lifestyle, no time for self development, and the debt that comes with wanting more, rather than appreciating more.

I wanted  peace.

I wanted simplicity.

I wanted days of intention and focus, where peaceful energy flowed.

And, I got all of these and more in return for just making the room for them to arrive.

 

It has been a long journey and I now know it will be a lifelong one. For as we grow and change, so I now know to come back to centre often and check in.

I do stumble, I make mistakes, take wrong turns but I have learnt to make my peace, learn the lesson and forgive myself.

I know in my heart I have a deep love for all others and the fact that I know that is enough.

I didn’t get here overnight and to stay here I continually readjust. There isn’t a destination, intentional living is a journey for me.

 

 

I tell myself it is a journey into the heart of all I could ever hope for – I may get dreams coming true, I may not – but I know fulfilment is in the trying.

 

 

Thanks for being here with me.

 

If this journey interests you, you can read about if further in my book: Five Bedrooms to Five Boxes, Living Simply with Purpose.

Remove Scarcity Fears & Specialise

 

Why You Must Remove Scarcity Fears & Specialise

We want to serve all.

But pleasing everyone pleases no one. And, choosing an area of specialisation brings up some deep fears.

It leaves us wondering – if we choose one specific area, is that type of client even out there? – if we choose someone specifically, are we loosing all out on other clients?  – if we choose this, does it mean losing out on that?

We need to give up on being a generalist to find our tribe.

If we look at offering something for everyone we get lost in a sea of others doing the same.

We have to hone in on someone specific to stand out and get noticed.

One voice amongst thousands is always going to be drowned out.

Yet the voice with a key single message, whilst aimed at a small target, when it hits that target audience it will hit them hard and generate a true client, someone who is all ears and all yours.

You must focus on the capture of only one heart. Then you can capture another, and in your own timing, you generate a tribe of true clients.

I have seen thousands of profitable businesses start this way.

They pick an area of focus and they hone their message. Because the message has a specific target, someone who needs to hear their specific message feels it was crafted just for them.

Once you have built up slowly, but organically and your tribe is well formed, they have got to know you as a person, only then is it time to relax the reigns and allow a bit more ‘generalism’ creep in.

Once you have true fans then they want to hear all of what you have to share, and only then when you have built trust from solving a key problem for them.

Then you can branch out – build up strong and then reach far.

Being general is safe and safe is mediocre – only in baring all to your truth in a key message will work in this noisy world.

Pick your message and sing it.

 

Need help picking it – I can coach you through that – email me at senseofyou@hotmail.com

 

How Would Life Be Better With Less

 

The idea that ‘less is more’ is nothing new.

Leonardo da Vinci was quoted as noting ‘simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.’

Yet in a life bombarded daily with advertisements that great minds develop in a way to convince us how unhappy we are without their goods, it is no wonder we have folded to the idea that we need to acquire to feel fulfilled.

The idea of realigning ourselves to what is meaningful can feel like an overwhelmingly large task. A task often put off when we catch a glimpse of the vast valley of despair that has crept in, on top of just not knowing where to start.

I tackled it by chipping away at it over the years and now manage it in maintenance mode, inspired to do so by revisiting what a life with less gives me in return.

A life with less for me isn’t about an empty bench top or a purposeful wardrobe, rather it is about what I can do in a life that is intentional, focused and purposeful.

Once I experienced the fulfilment that flooded into the space left by materialistic concern there was no turning back.

The time has created space for me to write books, become a hiker (later this year I am booked into hike Base Camp of Mt. Everest), I have started UNI and all just by using my spare time, outside my full-time working hours, intentionally.

The fulfilment I have gained from replacing mindless TV watching and shopping with reading, learning, more time with friends and family has the heart and soul of my life dancing on air – so much so there is no consideration of ever wanting to accumulate more of anything, from an object to a commitment.

Becuase once you start filling life with meaningful activities you see your true potential and you suddenly realise you can have it all.