Deep in the pit of our heart sits fear of rejection, neatly tucked behind fear of not being enough.
The times we have experienced it.
The fear of refacing it.
That deeply burrowed seed of not being enough.
We convince ourself of perceived rejection, blowing someone else’s fear and rejection – their reactions of hurt – we take and make our own. A cycle arising from not being in touch with what sits behind our fear and so continue the lash out cycle rather than find a way to say what catches in our throat, but doesn’t make it past the lips.
Mostly because we don’t dare acknowledge it. The fear arises from our heart and our head rejects it, creating anger, rage, frustration, stress as a more tolerable way of letting the energy of it out.
When it arises could we seek to clarify rather than assume?
We often don’t out of fear of true rejection, despite the low chances. We would rather take all the assumed rejection rather than the true 5%. Crazy that we allow our fear to pull in feelings of rejection 95% of the time just because we won’t get out of our own way.
And that 5%. It’s not really there either. That 5% that we did seek to clarify is only someone else’s ideal. It isn’t who we are. But again we give away the power to stand firmly grounded in the truth of doing the best we can, acknowledging all our good intentions. We give away that most precious part of ourselves every day of our life.
You know – we don’t have to accept criticism. We don’t have to take it in.
I struggle with how difficult it is daily to truly live in the spotlight of my magnificent worth.
I know my heart wants so much good for me, sees it in others and strives for it in the world.
If only the doubt monsters didn’t create a daily struggle that pulls on my attention. They are death by a thousand cuts, always nipping at our heels, like the bit of dog shit we cannot quite scrape off, that disgusting smell that lingers.
But, I am practising at having the tough conversations. I am asking why and all I am finding are reasons that have nothing to do with me, and everything buried in another’s fear of rejection.
And the best bit, rather than be another channel that reinforces their hurt, by asking and clarifying I can give support and love.
Where darkness shadows take a light, not a bat. See what is truly there instead of fighting imagined demons.
Your strength to do so is in the truth of all that is amazing in you-you know it’s there.
Please, join me, let your amazingness come shining out of you, bright enough to help light the darkness of another.
Let’s take a light, not a bat and bring love where there is hurt.
Photo by Lesley B. Juarez on Unsplash