Photo by Jorunn Lorenzen
When flicking through books at a local bookstore, I picked up one that described the breakdown of our very being. Our genetic make-up, beyond organs and tissue, beyond cells and atoms, is a series of vibrating waves, called quantum.
Quantum is a series of peaks and troughs, a constant wave of ups and downs. Our genetic make-up is a balance of up and down, positive and negative.
This scientific fact is hard to comprehend. I ponder this balance at our core and wonder how much of this, the positive and negative, the up and down, is also the unavoidable balance of other areas of our life.
Our relationships with friends, partners, parents, co-workers and so on, work well when each person balances the relationship. When someone is upset and pulls away, the other needs to recognise this and move in to comfort them.
People say about friends and partners, ‘I feel like he/she is on the same wave length as me’. Could we unknowingly be recognising the harmony of our balance in its purest form?
And when this dance falls out of balance is when the happy face turn to signs of disappointment, hurt and misunderstanding.
So what can we do in light of this knowledge? Whilst we cannot control our quantum, we can be aware of the role it plays in our lives and the balance in healthy relationships.
We need to manage our own balance, to give as well as take, to remember to be there when friends need us to comfort them and to know when to give space as needed, a different type of balance.
But we are also humans, and we get this wrong from time to time. The best relationships allow for these times and work through them. Don’t let yourself ignore an imbalance or be defensive about it; rather, have a chat about how it feels for you and see if the time is right to be there or give a little space.
There are times when we all pull away, get overly defensive, or are just not ourselves. We need to remember how we want our inner circle of relationships to behave during these times and to do our best, despite our own human emotions, not to make it always about ourselves.
Relationships of all types take work. This type of balance, while still required, doesn’t just happen in its own positive and negative wave. All the good relationships I have known of take effort. But when you work at your balance and practice it, it becomes a sweet and beautiful dance, one well worth the effort to have that type of relationship as part of your life.