Photo by Jorunn Lorenzen
I am packing.
I have vacated my unit.
I am sending my car onto the truck.
I am having goodbye dinners.
I am at the airport.
I am looking at you out of the window of the plane. You are so familiar to me. The sun is shining on you, and you are beautiful. After the constant days of subtropical rain, I leave you your bright, cheery and humid self.
You will always be the place of my birth, and you still hold dear friends and family. But I have released myself from your grip, from our days of summer sweats in extreme humidity, afternoon trips to the beach or Waterpark, schooling days and many backyard BBQs.
So many good times with friends were spent in your care. The young days, without a care in the world—cars loaded, eskies packed, weekend after weekend camping at the beach—all laughing so hard we cried.
Days of love, enjoyment, laughter, but also the heartbreak.
My dear Rockhampton, the engines are now fired up, and you are to be in the rearview mirror again. This time, I would dare say, permanently: the few thousand kilometers about to be between us will see to that.
I will miss you, my friend. I am blinking back tears at all the memories I will no longer be reminded of by a walk down the street, the familiar pull of your heat soon to be a distant memory in the icy winds of Tasmania.
It is a perfect day to see you off with the clouded blue sky. I am alone in my section of seats on the plane, left to just soak in this.
The wait on the runway is now over, and we are moving; takeoff and we are off the ground. I look down on you, and just like that, you are behind me. The plane is turning, and all too soon you are out of sight. The Band-Aid ripped off and a drop of turbulence to jolt my focus forward. I am in a cloud that acts like a block to the past where all of a sudden you are, only my future to see above the clouds now, a heavenly sight to fill me with wonder and possibility.
Goodbye, dear friend. I will see you again as a visitor full of wonderful new stories to share when we catch up.
I will then look at you, searching for the changes that time has inflicted on you. Wondering where and how it has aged you. I will still find familiar parts of you, as I trace a finger down the familiar backstreets when I navigate around.
We all move on in life in different ways. We move to new houses, we make a new friend, we join a new group or form a new relationship. As the new comes and we make space for it, things get left behind. We leave behind old relationships, friends we don’t see anymore, houses we won’t enter anymore or activities we won’t participate in anymore.
We constantly evolve our lives in this way, through small, everyday steps. These previous pieces of our lives become partly forgotten, some remembered and all the in between in that. I would like to think we can influence this and we should try, as the time we spend remembering versus learning affects our life.
I am blessed with my optimism, and I am ever grateful for this. Unfortunately, in the surrounding moments I can sure stew and upset myself over things I could have done better. And of course there are bigger things like this in my life that do sit below the surface. So when I can manage to, I persuade myself to remember the things that made me smile. I try to bring up the memories that make me laugh or will visit places that were positive in my past.
I will try my best to spend time in my past visiting the positive, looking for the positive memories and letting those put a positive influence on my future.
The Coin – Sara Teasdale
Into my heart’s treasury
I slipped a coin
That time cannot take
Nor a thief purloin
Oh better than the minting
Of a gold-crowned king
Is the safe-kept memory
Of a lovely thing.