Endings are not the Point

One of my favourite philosophers Jason Silva muses in this capture of awe about the impermanence of love.

I see this hesitation, deliberation, almost a reason not to – at the impermanence of things by many in this world yet it has me baffled.

Baffled because it is all so very impermanent. Because impermanence is all there is.

Life is impermanent yet we live it anyway.

The rollercoaster is impermanent, we ride it anyway.

Love can definitely be impermanent but it comes with the opportunity to experience our greatest natural intoxication of bliss, connection and joy.

We go to sleep to rest and restore, only to get up and wear out, rinse, repeat.

I don’t stay in bed all day thinking, how impermanent the moment may be so why bother? What an odd contemplation.

For me, impermanence is the fuel, not the extinguisher.

I know I have limited time so yes I will love with every fibre of my being. And yes I have lost love and had my heart broken. Am I bitter, turned off or hesitant to love again pondering the point – no way. I don’t have that kind of time to spare in this one precious life. Afterall, the grieving and heartbreak following a break-up will last long enough. Once I have recovered and am ready I want to experience again.

Everything in life is a cycle. There will always be an up and always a down.  There is a coming together and moving apart, sometimes this means endings, sometimes it just signals a new cycle within a larger one.

At the end of the day, life is about living it. Losing yourself in it. Going in so deep the bigger picture is a blur around the edges.

The only things we will regret are the unknowns, what we didn’t try to know what the outcome was.

So yes I love again, live again, have good days, bad days, progress and stagnate – I respect it is all part of this wonderful, magnificent journey and invite you to dive in too.

Ponder, but then blur the edges of the big picture and go in deep. I’ll see you at the surface again in due course but you have to see what is down there for yourself.

Photo by Felix Russell-Saw on Unsplash

The Space Between Pursuing Everything and Pursuing Nothing

I find most people are in one of two categories. They are either trying to do everything or nothing much.

There is no right or wrong.

There is no big life rule that says you must push yourself to achieve all you can possibly achieve, nor is there any rule that says you must spend your down time as just that and nothing else.

Yet, we guilt ourselves no matter our situation.

Those chillin cats savouring the fruits of their laborious working hours with slow walks, a good TV series and a number of well read books are watching the busy bees pondering if they should also be striving to achieve in their downtime.

For the busy bees, there is guilt in not achieving enough, fast enough or successfully enough with the flipside guilt they are not getting enough downtime, whilst asking them self, ‘What is the most productive way to have downtime?’

I am a busy bee and I do look on a little enviously at the relaxing downtime of those chillin cats. But I acknowledge I cannot sit still for long periods of time. My ideas would swell inside until I burst.

Just a someone who enjoys their unscheduled downtime should definitely dive into that guilt free.

I appreciate the calm and steadiness someone who can chill brings into my life. I need them. They balance me. Just like I need other busy bees to buzz around with sometimes.

There is no doubt the chilling cats need a buzzer to sometimes pull them along. But they also need times with other chillin cats to be at ease without having to discuss what to do, how to do it or where to go.

The key is losing the guilt and finding your unique flow into one, the other and the spaces in between as it works for you.

It is important to check in with yourself to make sure you are ok; you are not running yourself ragged, nor are you letting life’s dreams float on by.

All in all, being the person you are is the perfect way to be.

There is no guilt in being who you are; a busy bee or a chillin cat – just be you.

 

Photo:  Jorunn Lorenzen

Minimal Living Beyond Possessions

 

I didn’t just want less stuff.

In fact at my core, embarking on minimalism was about ‘things’ the least.

I had just come out of a very rough patch in life, my heart was broken and my so called life-direction had blown away in the hurricane that followed. I hadn’t been truly in touch with who I was for a good decade and as a result I had no idea what I, as just ‘me’, now wanted out of life.

When I moved on with only essentials I was unconsciously peeling back the layers of the life that had just been dismantled in an effort to try to find ‘me’.

‘Me’  wasn’t something I could tap into easily, or in any short timeframe.  I realised I had to allow the process that time gifts, reveal more of me, one piece at a time.

In the moments of change that left my legs collapsed beneath me, down there on the ground I began to uncover the girl I was once; independent, creative and full of wonder. My joy in being, my excitement for the world and all its people had been tossed aside over the years which I realised was one of my most fulfilling expressions.

The weight that lifted from freeing myself from commitments and possessions provided the opportunity to start exploring how to live the life I had only dreamed of.

The most amazing discovery was that it was only a little bit of readjusting away.

 

We get caught up in what a dream life is. We think it is shooting for the stars and dismiss going for it, when in fact, if we sit down and map it out, it is often just a few short tweeks away.

 

Living intentionally cost me what I thought was hard to give up, but in fact I learnt I was yearning to give up the mindless shop wandering, an overflowing, complicated wardrobe, confusion in self-fulfilment, a bad diet, an unhealthy lifestyle, no time for self development, and the debt that comes with wanting more, rather than appreciating more.

I wanted  peace.

I wanted simplicity.

I wanted days of intention and focus, where peaceful energy flowed.

And, I got all of these and more in return for just making the room for them to arrive.

 

It has been a long journey and I now know it will be a lifelong one. For as we grow and change, so I now know to come back to centre often and check in.

I do stumble, I make mistakes, take wrong turns but I have learnt to make my peace, learn the lesson and forgive myself.

I know in my heart I have a deep love for all others and the fact that I know that is enough.

I didn’t get here overnight and to stay here I continually readjust. There isn’t a destination, intentional living is a journey for me.

 

 

I tell myself it is a journey into the heart of all I could ever hope for – I may get dreams coming true, I may not – but I know fulfilment is in the trying.

 

 

Thanks for being here with me.

 

If this journey interests you, you can read about if further in my book: Five Bedrooms to Five Boxes, Living Simply with Purpose.

9 Tips to Simplify Stuff

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Reduce rather than reorganise.

Only purchase to replace.

Go home and evaluate what you have got and where you will place it, consider how you will use it and check nothing else could do the job.

Keep clear bench tops and tables, this will help you remain in check about putting everything away and bring about a really enjoyable spacious feeling.

Do a little each day. Clean up one draw, one counter whenever you have 5 minutes spare. Don’t consider where to start, just start with what is closest.

Distance reduces the emotion. If you haven’t used it in 6 months and still cannot bear to part with it, pack it away for a few months and then revisit it.

Forget sales/bargains. Only buy what is on the shopping list. A $1 spent on a $2 item is still a $1 spent and those add up – and double in value when placed on debt.

Crowd out excess shopping with a new intentional hobby.

Consider with intention your TV time, particularly if you have multiple TVs in your home. Redirecting this time also reduces your exposure to commercials which impact our buying significantly.

Instead of trying to stop doing what you don’t want to – crowd it out with more of what you do want to – focus there and arrive.

 

 

Remove Scarcity Fears & Specialise

 

Why You Must Remove Scarcity Fears & Specialise

We want to serve all.

But pleasing everyone pleases no one. And, choosing an area of specialisation brings up some deep fears.

It leaves us wondering – if we choose one specific area, is that type of client even out there? – if we choose someone specifically, are we loosing all out on other clients?  – if we choose this, does it mean losing out on that?

We need to give up on being a generalist to find our tribe.

If we look at offering something for everyone we get lost in a sea of others doing the same.

We have to hone in on someone specific to stand out and get noticed.

One voice amongst thousands is always going to be drowned out.

Yet the voice with a key single message, whilst aimed at a small target, when it hits that target audience it will hit them hard and generate a true client, someone who is all ears and all yours.

You must focus on the capture of only one heart. Then you can capture another, and in your own timing, you generate a tribe of true clients.

I have seen thousands of profitable businesses start this way.

They pick an area of focus and they hone their message. Because the message has a specific target, someone who needs to hear their specific message feels it was crafted just for them.

Once you have built up slowly, but organically and your tribe is well formed, they have got to know you as a person, only then is it time to relax the reigns and allow a bit more ‘generalism’ creep in.

Once you have true fans then they want to hear all of what you have to share, and only then when you have built trust from solving a key problem for them.

Then you can branch out – build up strong and then reach far.

Being general is safe and safe is mediocre – only in baring all to your truth in a key message will work in this noisy world.

Pick your message and sing it.

 

Need help picking it – I can coach you through that – email me at senseofyou@hotmail.com

 

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